A Little Extra Love

The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing. ~ Zephaniah 3:17
God loved on me a little extra last week.  It was one of those weeks that was filled with surprises and excitement, happiness and joy, peace and love.

In Indianapolis November 14th for the Colts game.

And a birthday.  Last Thursday, it turns out, I have spent 40 years on this earth.  Twenty years ago, I would have thought it would surely be the death of me to turn such a old and ugly age, but I have found that with each decade that passes, things truly get better with age.  Personally all my "decade" birthdays have been excellent years, but just between me and you, I don't remember my tenth year perfectly, but I am certain that it was good.


I don't know when the change began, but I have noticed in the past month that I have become comfortable being me.  I have always considered myself a middle of the road kind of person.  Nothing really special or great and nothing really terrible or bad.  Just average.  Being myself has not always been an easy task.  I have never had a very high opinion of myself.  I have always thought I was somewhat like a chameleon- ever changing to blend into my surroundings.  I was happy to float under the radar.  I enjoy attention (I mean who doesn't?), but I never know what to do when I get too much.  I feel awkward.  This past week though I was showered with attention and love and gifts.  I am going to share some of them with you.  Some may leave you scratching your head thinking - what is the big deal about that? The point, I believe you will find, is that they were all God inspired and He left His fingerprints everywhere.  It made me feel as if I was the only one He was paying attention to this week.  I felt special and, not for a moment, awkward.  This week, for the first time ever, I found God in my birthday.


It all began on Friday the 3rd.  I woke up with my husband's cold and was unable to attend my journaling group's monthly meeting.  However, it didn't stop everyone else from celebrating.  A friend dropped by afterward and brought my gifts.  Everyone had given me 40 of something - mostly chocolate - (yeah!).  I even got 40 pencils so I have no excuse not to write everyday.  Then came the weekend.  I spent the weekend nursing a cold while my husband did all kinds of things for me.  He even fixed a cracked toilet seat.  For me, this was a great start to my birthday week.  In this household, I usually do these things.  Randy is a financial whiz, but construction and repairs of any kind - we will just say, I usually enjoy those projects a little more than he does.  On Tuesday, gifts poured down like rain from a summer thunderstorm.   They were little things - Logan and I went to the post office and Chick-fil-a is right next door.  Now I have been craving a chicken biscuit for weeks and my rear-end has threatened me if I so much as think about going to get one...but my craving won and I still fit into my jeans.  Of course, we were running late, it was almost 11am and I was sure there were no biscuits left from breakfast. There never are.  But on Wonderful, Glorious Tuesday, there was one.  One. So Logan graciously gave it up for a sandwich instead.  I know - little things make me happy, but it tasted soooo good.  In my change, I received a 1967 half dollar.  I have not received a half dollar in change since I can't even remember when. When I was little, my Papa used to fill little outstretched grandkid hands with these magical coins.  I still have one in my jewelry box with a $2 bill my Granny gave to me.  It brought back all those memories of climbing around in the attic of their old house and Papa climbing up there with us to tell us ghost stories.  The dust would swirl in the light at the edges of dark corners as we listened to stories about creaking bones and footfalls on the stairs. I remembered Papa's dog, Tiny, who would "sit like a human" right next to him on the sofa while they watched the television and Granny's nut roll at Christmas and the perfect dressing she always made when she roasted a chicken.  She used the broth and added all those wonderful bits of moist, tender chicken.  My mouth is starting to water right now and I am thinking that soup may not satisfy me for dinner tonight.  That old worn out coin in my hand brought back childhood memories and it began a pattern of thinking about how of these little things form a shroud around me.  Each year is another layer added and my shape changes. I have accumulated scars, opinions, attitudes, knowledge and wisdom - among other things.  It all melts together and each new year of my life transforms me into this person I sometimes fail to recognize.  In the mirror, I look so different. In my stomach, I used to feel this panic.  No.  Not forty.  Not yet.  Rewind the clock.  Stop the clock.  Just stop it for a little while and let me catch up to where the year tells me I am, but my head tells me that it is still running the numbers and not to panic just yet because we must have added or subtracted something wrong.  So very wrong.  But I remember the three "wisdom" hairs I found a few months ago and my heart whispers that there has been no mistake.  I can't see them now, but by the summer the perfect dye job will fade in the sun and the heat while I garden.  I am certain those three will have company come July.

On Tuesday, I also received my first Christmas gift of the year.  Before Logan and I left, he was standing outside drinking his coffee and I stepped out to tell him something.  Right next to the door was this beautiful table with a dragonfly on it.  Back in September, I met a new friend and she is an artist.  She lives across the street.  While I was working on my rock wall and garden, she would come over and we would chat.  The table is so beautiful and fits perfectly in my writing room next to my chair.  Wednesday brought the decorating of the Christmas tree.  Normally, we would do this on my birthday. It has always been tradition every since I can remember.  I really wanted to wake up to the tree decorated on my birthday so we did it the evening before this year.  I had already decided on my gift.  I had originally wanted to have a big, fancy party with all my friends and lots of cake.  I opted for something else.  I asked for something I really want...and need.


A handyman.  


Laugh all you want, but I will direct you to the above paragraph where it states very plainly that I do the construction and repairs in this house.  This is the best gift I could have been given because our house is older than I am and it needs a little extra love.  Well - love may not do it.  I have a million and one projects that need to be finished.  My husband has given me the gift of time so can write.  That tells me he believes in me, he believes in my dream, he wants me to succeed.  So on Thursday night, while Logan hung out with friends, we rang in my new year, my fortieth year, at our favorite restaurant - The Blue Iguana - and it was the best date we have had in a long time.  I felt as if I were 21 and had my whole life in front of me.  It gave me time to dream about what I would do with another 40 years.  It made me think about being 80 and all the wisdom hairs I will have then.  It made me miss my Granddaddy and Grandma.  It made me miss listening to Granddaddy reading his Bible to us and teaching us about the Roman Road to Salvation.  It made me think about the only real wisdom I have, but can not even claim as my own. Now I will share it with you.....


My grandma always said this, "Be grateful for every year you are alive and the moment you wake up dead, be grateful you were right with the Lord."


It is the only real wisdom I possess.  I want to believe I have lived long enough to always be right, but I know that the Lord has so many more things to teach me.  I am excited to look ahead to my future.  I feel at peace with who I am.  I look forward to a whole year of being 40.  On Friday, my friend and I went to The Pink Bicycle for tea to celebrate my 40 years.  Another gift - really good Christian friends. Friends you don't have to explain anything to because they just know you that well. Snow flurries whirled around in the wind and the clouds were thick and gray.  But it didn't bother me a bit.  Those were the first snow flakes of the season and they floated down to earth on a perfect December day- a final little birthday gift from above, a reminder that happiness is found in the simplest of things.  Last week, I found God in every day.  I found Him in half-dollars and memories.  I found Him in my husband and my son, my birthday e-mails, cards, Facebook messages and texts.  I found Him in friends, old and new.  I found Him in my Christmas tree. I found Him in a perfect white snowflake that landed on my nose.

15th wedding anniversary dinner at Oceanaire in Indianapolis

Today, I look in the mirror and I find Him in me.  I look past the crow's feet and the dyed wisdom hairs, the scars and the rear-end that reminds me it could be just a little bit smaller.  I look past the shroud that covers and visually defines me to others at a glance.  I look deeper.  I look at my spirit and I see a soft glow that one day I hope will be a bright light.  I look forward to meeting Jesus one day.  I look forward to telling God face to face that I am so very grateful for the life he gave me.  And I hope that when he looks at me, He will be pleased with the way I lived my life, that He will be proud and count me as worthy enough.

I am sick with the flu.  It started Sunday night and has gotten worse ever since.  Hopefully, the weekend will bring rest and relief. Please keep me in your prayers.


Peace and Love 
Blessings and joy,
Elizabeth

A Little Note

A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver ~ Proverbs 25:11


I wanted to let you know that I have not abandoned my blog or you.  I love that you have hung in here with me even though I have been distracted.  I have been so overwhelmed by what the publishing world tells us writers to do that I have done very little writing of late.  I am lost in the tech world and I pout because all I really want to do is write.  Creating websites, learning how to market myself, and feeling like a deer caught in headlights because I am told publishers want writers who are also excellent speakers have kept me occupied along with all of the daily duties we all face.  I run from appointment to errand to housework and have cut out everything I truly enjoy for the sake of time constraints.  I have tried to force myself into a schedule that doesn't fit who I am, all for the sake of bettering myself, only to find out that it has backfired on me.  I have felt drained and exhausted and need a time of renewal to get back to my passion for writing and studying about God.  I love writing my blog and I love that you read and comment and share it with your friends and family.  I don't ever want it to feel forced because it is really all about God and living in harmony with Him and allowing the Holy Spirit to guide my words.  Most of my problem is I have starved myself of my quiet time with God.  Glynnis Whitwer with Proverbs 31 made it clear during a class that I can't feed you if I don't feed myself.


I haven't been feeding myself and my blog has suffered for it.  For that I am truly sorry.


First and Foremost, I want to be obedient to what God has called me to do.  He has called to write.  I am working on a blog entry that will post early next week and I pray and hope that you will find it was worth waiting on.  Maybe one day He will call me to speak or market myself in a certain way.  But for now, I am going to wait on Him.  God can be very tenacious when He wants me to do something His way and for that, I am grateful.  I don't serve a God that is quick to give up on me, but that will nurture me so that hopefully you find nourishment when you stop by.  I have set a goal for myself to write two blogs a week for now.  The rest of the time will be spent writing my book.  Unless the Boss gives me different instructions, and if that happens, I will be writing about it so you will be the first to know.  He has placed people in my life that are especially important to my writing.  I am a horrible speller and my grammar could use some work.  Sometimes I tend to cram too much information into a sentence and my reader gets terribly confused.  The friends that God has placed in my life are helping me to be successful to His calling in my life.  So I have an grammar checker and I have a real live spell checker.  I have encouragement specialists and I have prayer warriors.  God has set me up for success so the only way I can fail is to not be obedient to Him.


So be patient with me as I finish up my new posting and hopefully the words will be like apples of gold in settings of silver.......


as always,
May you find peace and love, happiness and joy in our ever present God,
Elizabeth




p.s. If you haven't already, be sure to sign up for delivery of my blog to your e-mail.  After you sign up, I believe you will receive a confirmation e-mail.  Let me know if you encounter any problems.

Autumn's Sweetness

To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven ~ Ecclesiastes 3:1 (nkjv)

Summer has passed away again and Autumn has gracefully and rightfully taken her place.  The trees sway in the breeze and their leaves are turning from emerald to amber and maroon, copper and scarlet.  The sun is peeking through the last of the thick rain clouds leaving shadows at my feet.  The wind's chill cuts through my sweater and suddenly I feel alone and cold and sad.  All the monarchs and grasshoppers, dragonflies and butterflies, honey bees and bumblebees, are either dying to the cold or moving on to warmer climates.  Winter is coming.

Here in my neck of the woods, the debate rages on:  Will it be the same or worse than last year or will our winter be mild?  Everyone has a different opinion, but only One knows what ultimately will be.  Still, I check the weather everyday and read the Farmers Almanac trying to create a prediction of my own - one that I can tolerate, one that I can accept.

We live in a world of predictions and uncertainties; a world that shifts beneath our still feet as we look up to the One that can give us guidance.  Yet, I still look to the world(or worse, myself) to fix my problems, many times leaving God as a last resort; the One I will turn to when I have exhausted every other possibility.  I long to be the woman that turns to God immediately; one that never waivers or questions, but trusts in His wisdom and guidance of my steps.  I desire to be blind to all the world offers me, but somehow, in the midst of my self-driven chaos, Jesus gets lost and fades into the background where ultimately I lose sight of Him.  It is then, that I am most aware of my brokenness and it creates a hollowness in my soul that can not be satisfied with the selfish pleasures I evoke.  There are so many counterfeit gods in the world that give instant gratification, that sidetrack me and before I know what has happened a month has passed and I am parched.  I am thirsty for something real and tangible, something true and honest and worthy. 


We both know, I never have to be parched.  We both know that when I shut down and walk away from the daily grind for whatever length of time it takes - that I should be communing with God not excluding Him. For the last month, I should have been running to God and resting in Him.  I should have been still.  I should have listened.  Instead, I ran the other direction as fast and hard as I could.  Why?  Because when I become overwhelmed, it is just what I do.  I drop from sight.  If looking for me, one might find that a sighting of Bigfoot would be more likely.


Only God knows where I am and He speaks to me.  He meets me right where I am. God knows what I need and He gives it to me.  God knows just the right time to call my name and exactly what to say to awaken me from my hibernation.  The days grow short with the tick-tocking of the clock, yet I know that winter is a time of renewal for me. A time of writing and studying and listening to God.  I have struggled for weeks to write on this blog, to find the right words that your e-mails tell me you are eager to read, but with every day that passed, fear invaded my days that I might never have another thing to write to you.  I wanted to write and I prayed everyday that God would give me something.  Anything.  After uttering that prayer, I would walk away from my computer, my Bible, my paper, my pens - and straight to whatever task was at hand.  I don't remember ever waiting on God to actually answer me.


God has gently reminded me that I must be patient.  I must wait on Him.  His timing is perfect.  His ways are higher than my own.  He can be trusted.




Blue patches of sky can now be seen through the breaking clouds and the weather man reports that tomorrow will be warm and sunny.  A good day for writing under my new tree by my new rock wall.


May we trust we are exactly where God wants us to be, and as my mom likes to say, may we bloom where we are planted.  May you enjoy the days of Autumn and all of God's painting until the first midnight snowflakes begin to fall.

a note to my faithful readers

I apologize for the delay in getting a new post ready.  I have some personal things that need my attention right now and it will be another week before I post again.  I appreciate your patience and checking back. 

Peace and love,

Elizabeth

Football already?

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. ~ Hebrews 12:11 (niv)


I love summer vacation and this summer has gone away entirely too quickly.  I feel as if I have floated through the entire summer oblivious to time.  I know that I have been very, very busy and right now I have that little kid feeling that school is just around the corner and I am fighting to savor the last few days of summer vacation before schedules and rituals creep in. 


I am leaving today and heading to Georgia to visit family and friends and I already know that the week will pass too quickly. Suddenly, Labor Day will be upon me: my sign that I must buckle down and stop living a carefree summer existence.  The past few days have felt more like autumn than summer and I have even watched a few pre-season football games (which by the way - I never watch. I mean really - who needs that agony?).  But I feel this longing for September to arrive.  I am actually looking forward to getting back into a routine because deep down I know that I am ever so much more productive when my days are structured.  


Hebrews 12:11 says this: No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. 


It is so difficult to create any discipline for myself, especially in the summer.  I know for a fact that if I am not careful,  I could find myself wasting uncountable hours. Not necessarily doing nothing at all, but just becoming distracted by all the things that need to be done or gardening or well, just, things.  That is exactly what has happened to me this week.  All of the sudden it is Friday and I find myself wondering again, "What happened to the week?"


I look out the window and the sky is blue and the sun is shining all the warmth of a perfect summer day.  A good day.  A great day. A perfect day to take a road trip with my husband.  A last week of summer vacation for creating perfect memories to treasure through the long winter months that are sure to be here all too soon.  But for now, I will enjoy this last sweet taste of summer before it is time to settle in and watch football and cook chili and pick apples and pumpkins and watch the leaves begin to turn into a beautiful display of red, orange and gold.  For this summer girl, this year autumn can not arrive too soon.  And I know why.  I am ever seeking a harvest of righteousness and peace, but it only comes after discipline has been instilled.  To be disciplined I need structure and my structure always arrives the Tuesday after Labor Day.  I do not know why God built me to need the structure of a school year, but crave the freedoms of summer. Maybe one day He will reveal the mystery to me.


This will be my last post until I return.  May the last week of your summer be the sweetest of your life.  


Peace and Blessings,
Elizabeth

Like Sweetness in Honey

How shall they preach unless they are sent? As it is written: How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the gospel of peace who bring glad tidings of good things. ~ Romans 10:15 (nkjv)


Friday, I found God in a dream.  

I find Him there sometimes in the wee morning hours before dawn, but this time was different. The sunlight streamed through the window, warm and sweet, as I lay napping.  It is a rarity that I ever nap.  Sleep often eludes me even as the rest of the world is tucked in tight not letting the bed bugs bite.  But this afternoon, as I struggled to write, my eyes heavily blinking, finally drooping, it was then that I finally gave in to sleep.  I tucked myself into bed, snuggled under the covers.

God gave me a nap.  And it was good.

Then the phone rang.  I sat up straight in the bed and gasped for air.  I am certain my heart was close to exploding. I felt confused and disoriented as I sat there.  I tried to recall what I had been dreaming, but all I could see in my head was white script on black: Chapter 33. Then images flooded my mind: what some would call Bible thumpers and Jesus freaks holding placards with bold words – the end is nigh, save yourselves; people permeated with fear rushing about the city streets screaming.  It was complete and utter chaos.  And it was not the quiet kind I am ever-seeking.  In the midst were people standing still, quietly, diligently, praying and watching the pandemonium unfold.

For the next two hours, I struggled to find the significance of Chapter 33.  In the middle of dinner I finally made the connection. Sometimes during my quiet time with God, instead of working on my designated Bible study, I will open my Bible and read for a while.  That morning I had opened The Message and it fell open to the first page of Ezekiel. On the left page there was a description about Ezekiel and on the right was chapter one.  Before I started reading, there were only two things that I knew about Ezekiel:  First, he was a prophet and second, God called him son of man, made him eat a scroll and Ezekiel wrote to us that it tasted like honey in sweetness (3:3).  So, I began reading what Peterson had to say about him:

Catastrophe strikes and a person’s world falls apart.  People respond variously, but two of the more common responses are denial and despair. Denial refuses to acknowledge the catastrophe. It shuts its eyes tight and looks the other way; it manages to act as if everything is going to be just fine; it takes refuge in distractions and lies and fantasies.  Despair is paralyzed by the catastrophe and accepts it as the end of the world.  It is unwilling to do anything, concluding that life for all intents and purposes is over. Despair listlessly closes its eyes to a world in which all the color has drained out, a world gone dead.  Among Biblical writers, Ezekiel is our master at dealing with catastrophe. When catastrophe struck…denial was the primary response. Ezekiel found himself living among a people of God who stubbornly refused to see what was right before their eyes (the denial crowd).  There were some who were unwilling to see anything other than what was right before their eyes (the despair crowd).

But Ezekiel saw.  He saw what the people with whom he lived either couldn’t or wouldn’t see.  He saw in wild and unforgettable images, elaborated in exuberant detail – God at work in a catastrophic era.  The denial people refused to see that the catastrophic was in fact catastrophic.  How could it be?  God wouldn’t allow anything that bad happen to them.  Ezekiel showed them.  He showed them that, yes, there was catastrophe, but God was at work in the catastrophe, sovereignly using the catastrophe.  He showed them so they would be able to embrace God in the worst of times. The despair people, overwhelmed by the devastation, refused to see that life was worth living.  How could it be? They lost everything or would soon…Ezekiel showed them.  He showed them that God was and would be at work in the wreckage and rubble, sovereignly using the disaster to create a new people of God...

There, I stopped reading.  I am constantly in awe of the things God will put directly in front of me.  And this was one of those moments.  I have told you that I am writing a book.  My book is about finding God in the midst of tragedy and affliction.  It is about not finding Him on the other side of the trial, but finding Him walking beside us with every step we take.   It is about knowing that God will never allow our destruction, but will rebuild us into newer and better people,  stronger and wiser people, people prepared to carry out His will.

And I know about denial.  I know about despair and desperation and affliction.  Six years ago, tragedy struck our family.  A truck rear-ended me at 70 mph as I was stopped in traffic.  I was 8 months pregnant with my first daughter and my 2 ½ year old son was in the car with me.  I spent months in the hospital recovering.  My husband, my oldest son who is now nineteen, and I walk a road that many before us have walked.  We aren’t bad people and the question has been posed to me often, “Why would God allow this to happen to you?”  Then the inquirer waits for an answer as if I have some secret access to God’s mind.  But maybe the access is not secret.  Maybe I am just willing to see God in places few are willing to look. Bit by bit, He reveals to me the things He wishes me to know creating a wiser me.  He walks beside me creating a stronger and more faithful me.  He performs miracles that leave me breathless and in awe of His sovereignty.  He teaches me to see Him in all of His glory as He breaks through desperation and despair and denial and affliction.  So you can see why I felt an immediate connection to Ezekiel in this moment. The words that Peterson wrote describing Ezekiel resonated with me and it was as if God was speaking to me. “Hey. Don’t give up.  I am working here.  Hang in there.”

Now I know that you are hanging on and saying, “yeah, but what about the dream???”

Over the past few months, I have been feeling led to be a bit more evangelistic.  I was raised Southern Baptist so this is not something I am unfamiliar with, however, I know it is not my primary spiritual gift.  What I learned this weekend as I read, studied and analyzed this information is that evangelizing doesn’t necessarily mean knocking on someone’s door and sharing the Bible with them.  It can, but it also means that we use our own gifts to share the gospel with others.  That can mean art or songs, it can mean teaching or hospitality.  The ways we evangelize are only limited by God's imagination and really, is there any limit there? In my case, it means writing and sharing how God speaks to me and where I find Him. It has been in the past few months that I have, as I told you before, begun opening my Bible and just reading it.  I think it is no coincidence that my Bible fell open to Ezekiel that morning.  I think it is no coincidence that I had a dream where God was giving me a message.  I am a extremely literal person.  God speaks to me in a very literal way.  I am a visual person and seeing words and pictures will clarify meaning when other methods do not work.  I am passionate about what I believe in and what I believe in the most is bringing God’s truth forward.  I have vivid dreams and I believe that sometimes, He will use those dreams to speak to me. I am not claiming to be a prophet.  I am not claiming to be any more special that anyone else God placed on His earth.  I am very simply sharing with you that, occasionally, God chooses to speak to me in this manner. I do not believe that He is urging me to stand on a street corner creating chaos and perpetuating fear, shouting, “the end is nigh.”  I do believe that this dream has certain meaning.

I live in chaos.  My mind races constantly and the racing feeds my insomnia.  I am rarely, if ever, still. It is not uncommon in the Bible that God caused people to fall into a deep sleep.  I was sleeping very soundly Friday afternoon.  I think that God just needed me to be still and quiet and without distraction for just a little while.  If it took a nap, then so be it.  In my dream is complete chaos.  Earlier I described it as pandemonium.  Now look at the word pandemonium and break it down…in the middle is this word: DEMON. What does the ruler of demons do? He creates FEAR.  People were running and screaming with fear and within all of the chaos are people standing still and praying to God.  Is scripture coming to mind?  Maybe…Be still and know that I am God.  God is sovereign and controls all situations, even catastrophe and chaos. He can control pandemonium as well if we are still and diligently praying to Him, listening for a response and for guidance.  If we are obedient, then lives are saved.  Not because we issue a threat – Repent or else, but because we show that God is good and worthy of our reverence by giving us a most precious gift in Jesus.

Chapter 33 talks about a watchman’s duty…this is quoted from The Message:

God’s message came to me: “Son of man, speak to your people. Tell them, ‘If I bring war on this land and the people take one of their citizens and make him their watchman, and if the watchman sees war coming and blows the trumpet, warning the people, then if anyone hears the sound of the trumpet and ignores it and war comes and takes him off, it’s his own fault. He heard the alarm, he ignored it – it’s his own fault. If he had listened, he would have saved his life. But if the watchman sees war coming and doesn’t blow the trumpet, warning the people, and war comes and takes anyone off, I’ll hold the watchman responsible for the bloodshed of any unwarned sinner.’ ~ Ezekiel 33:1-6

As I read these words, I felt the crushing weight of responsibility we bear as Christians.  It also reminded me of a favorite scripture in Isaiah:

How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news, who proclaims peace, who brings glad tidings of good things, who proclaims salvation, who say to Zion, “Your God reigns!” Your watchmen shall lift up their voices, with their voices they shall sing together; For they shall see eye to eye when the Lord brings back Zion. Break forth into joy, sing together, you waste places of Jerusalem! For the Lord has comforted His people, He has redeemed Jerusalem.  The Lord has made bare His Holy Arm in the eyes of all nations; And all the ends of the earth shall see the salvation of our God. ~ Isaiah 52:7-10

God may have made Ezekiel a watchman, but clearly, here in Isaiah, God is telling us that we are all responsible for being watchmen.  The word is plural.

So here is my question: What are we doing to bring the glad tidings of good things to all the peoples of the world? 

If we are watchmen, are we consistently listening for God’s guidance and acting in obedience when He calls?  Are we ever still and quiet enough to hear Him speak?  Are we praying for opportunity to spread the word of God to those who are seeking it?  Are we studying and preparing ourselves for the moment that God presents us with an opportunity?  Are we equipping others to save their own lives?

I wonder.

I have questions.

I pray.

Faithfully, God listens and then proclaims truth.  His truth was incredibly and undeniably sobering to me because I know that I cannot answer yes to all of those questions consistently.

You are probably wondering why I posted pictures of honey bees in this blog.  Honey bees are diligent workers.  Every day, they wake up and search out clover or flowers for nectar so that they can make honey.  Saturday afternoon, they were working away in a little patch of clover in my front yard.  I believe that we need to be more like little honey bees.  We need to diligently search out those who do not know Jesus and give them the words of God to feed upon.  Ezekiel tells us they taste like honey in sweetness.  And is there anything sweeter than God’s truth?

a little note

Hello to my good and  faithful readers.....

A blog entry is coming.  I apologize that it has been a few days since my last post.  I have been a little under the weather. I have been working on a new entry the past couple of days and it is a little different and I would like it to be perfect just for you.  It will post in the next 24 hours I promise.  Thank you for your patience and persistence in checking back in...I have been happy to see my little ticker climbing.  Thanks to all who have passed my blog on to others.  Do not be concerned that if you use the e-mail-this-blog link and receive an error message; it still goes through. I will be adding a box so you can subscribe by e-mail if you wish.

In Christ,

Peace and Love and Blessings,

Elizabeth

In God's Presence

You will show me the path of life; In your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore. ~ Psalms 16:11 nkjv


Today I found God in a dragonfly.


Let me start at the beginning.  Yesterday, my husband was telecommuting because he had a doctor's appointment in the middle of the day.  On his way back into the house from said appointment, he was intercepted by our neighbor.  It seems that in his opinion our yard needed to be cut and apparently there was a weed that needed to be pulled and he was offering his services.  My husband, of course, explained and declined, then felt the need to relay the entire conversation to me as I prepared our lunch.


And that is when the fight began.


All I was supposed to be doing yesterday afternoon was writing.  Not worrying about the length of the grass or weeds in the herb garden.  I wanted to do it all at my pace:  a couple of hours each morning and then inside to write. A speaker at the writing conference this weekend made a brilliant statement and one I whole heartedly believe:  If the devil can't make you bad, he will make you busy.  Well, yesterday, he made me both.

Angry words flew from my mouth.  There might have even been some cursing in there too - although I would take the 5th if asked directly.  I was so mad that I would not have been surprised if fire had spewed from within.  I riddled my husband with questions faster than he could respond.  "Did you tell him I was AWAY this weekend?  Did you tell him that LOGAN was SUPPOSED to do it before he left for Colorado?  Did you tell him that I am trying to PRIORITIZE?  Did you tell him that I DO NOT want HIM in MY yard cutting the grass or in MY garden for any reason?"  All of which my poor husband, who unwillingly had been caught in the middle of a battle of wills between my neighbor and myself, replied, "Yes to all of that.  Maybe I should leave and finish my day at the office???" And the only thing I could think of to say was, "maybe" as I stomped out of the room and I can honestly say that the devil made me say it.  Because in this case, he was trying to make me busy, but instead he made me bad.  Randy didn't leave and later, I slunk upstairs to apologize.  He worked and I wrote and the rest of the day was quite pleasant.  We had a lovely evening.

This morning, however, as I laid in the bed waiting for the alarm to sound, I began making excuses to God about how I had so much to do and I wasn't going to write today.  I was trying to prepare Him and I used yesterday as Exhibit A.  In the back of my mind, the devil played his familiar tune reminding me of all the things that I could get done today if I would just get my to-do list out and get busy checking off items.  Then, God asked me the all important question: "Yesterday he made you bad, today are you going to let him make you busy?"


I got up and dressed in my work clothes.  I cut the grass and worked in the lavender bed at the corner of the yard.  Gathering up weeds, satisfied that my work was done in under two hours, the devil began to taunt me.  "Are you stopping now?  There is still work to be done."  I thought for a moment, almost ready to cave in, but refusing to, knowing that God expected me to be obedient and spend my afternoon writing.  And that is when it happened.

A dragonfly flew right into my path.  I waited for a moment.  He landed on a wagon handle.  I watched in amazement as he sat perfectly still.  I wanted so much to run inside and get my camera, but feared that when I returned, he would be gone.  I decided to take the chance.  When I returned, he was still perched there.  I took a few pictures wishing that he had landed a few feet over in the garden and suddenly, up he darted and dropped over onto the rose bush.  Thrilled, I continued to snap away, picture after picture.  It was almost as if he was just sitting there posing for me.  He would flutter his wings and then lift his tail.  He was beautiful.  His tail was periwinkle - my favorite color.  His head was the most gorgeous green, his wings iridescent.  He was the most perfect dragonfly I have ever seen.  I turned around and there were more flying around, but he is the only one that sat still for a picture.


It was then that I realized.  I was in the presence of God.  I miss it a lot because my angry tongue gets the best of me.  I miss it a lot as I move from task to task.  This morning, God decided to grace me with His presence when I needed help to edge out the thoughts the devil taunted me with.  I know He is always on my side.  But this morning, He was telling me, "I know you would rather play in the garden all day and be in the summer sun.  But you are choosing to be obedient to what I am calling you to do so I will give you a little gift that I know will thrill you and excite you."  And He was right.  It did thrill me and excite me. 

Today I found God in a dragonfly. Today I found fullness of joy in God's presence.Today I caught a glimpse of the pleasures at His right hand that will be forevermore because He delights in me.  Today I can walk the path of obedience that God lays before me in spite of the devil's dirty tricks because God's path is life and beauty and abundance.  By the way, outside my window is another little reminder from God of His ever-presence.  As I type these last words, a squirrel is sitting up on the limb of my apple tree eating an apple.

a message to my faithful readers

I know that I have been a little non-existent for the last couple of weeks and I apologize.  I have been preparing for a writing conference.  I leave tomorrow morning for Charlotte, NC.  This is the biggest leap of faith I have ever taken with my writing.  I feel nervous and excited all at the same time.  Part of me feels inadequate and I have to fight the feeling to bail altogether.  It seems like a million and five things went wrong today as I packed my bags.  I suddenly felt terrified and the tears spilled all to easily.  More than once.  God had to wait patiently on me today as I whined about how could I ever think for a second that I am good enough to stand with real authors and agents and publishers.  I even asked Him what He could have possibly been thinking to not slam a door in my face to stop this whole thing.  But then He whispered to me, "You are good enough.  I created you.  How could you doubt? I believe in you.  It will all happen when I am ready for it to."  I felt peace for the first time in days.  Deep down I know God has a plan for me.  I know He will use me when He gets ready to, but I have to trust Him no matter what happens.  I just ask that you all be a little bit patient for a few more days and I will be back to writing blogs again next week.  I look forward to telling you about all the awesome things God did right before my eyes.  God chooses to do amaze us and bless us with gifts.  Hundreds of women will be gathered together and we are all waiting on God.  I believe this will be an incredible weekend filled with amazement and wonder.  Remember when you were a kid and on Christmas Eve you couldn't fall asleep because you just knew that the one gift you had waited on would be under the tree the next morning?  That is how I feel right now.  As if there is something great and wonderful waiting on me. Finally the excitement is overtaking the fears of inadequacy and I can rest easy knowing God has everything in control, that He loves me, that He wants to bless me.  God gives good gifts and I am excited to find out what He has in store for me.

Peace, Love and Blessings,

Elizabeth

A Quiet Chaos

Psalm 139
For the Chief Musician, A Psalm of David
O, Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word on my tongue, but behold, O Lord, You know it altogether. You have hedged me behind and before and laid Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is high, I cannot attain it. Where can I go from your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into Heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there Your hand shall lead me and Your right hand shall hold me. If I say, "Surely the darkness shall fall on me," even the night shall be light about me; indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, but the night shines as the day; the darkness and the light are both alike to You. For you formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works and my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in secret and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they were all written, the days fashioned for me when as yet there were none of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; when I awake, I am still with You. Oh that You would slay the wicked, O God! Depart from me, therefore, you bloodthirsty men. For they speak against You wickedly; Your enemies take Your name in vain. Do I not hate them, O Lord, who hate You? And do I not loathe those who rise up against You? I hate them with perfect hatred; I count them my enemies. Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.


I know it has been a few days since my last post, but forgive me for this one is a little different.  I am in the midst of writing a book and I wanted to share a small part of it with you.  I thank you for your patience and persistence in checking back.  I hope you enjoy and as always - may you hear God in every word. ~ Elizabeth

a partial chapter from Alternate States of Being by Elizabeth Marchman

A Quiet Chaos

Sometimes I have to get myself lost to find God again.  There is a restlessness in my soul that wants to be on the move.  I want to experience God everywhere, in every moment, so I hunt for Him as if He were some elusive wild animal.  I know He is there, but distractions abound.  My feet take me down a dark road that veers off God’s illuminated path and into the world’s trap I fall.  The world has forgotten God, and I, misguided by self-pleasure and instant gratification, stand in adoration of its Babylonian attitude: I am and there is none besides me.  I always end up in some kind of trouble and yet, God is always there is to rescue me.  He calls me in from my travels and even though at first, it is difficult for me to hear Him, soon the wind carries His gentle whispers to my heart and I am thrust back into His presence.  It is warm.  It is sunny.  I am at peace.  The longing I felt while lost is replaced by a happiness that alone, I can not create.  I desire to be God’s breeze so I can move from place to place taking His beauty and healing presence with me for all the world to behold.  Yet, the revelation is sure: only when I forget the world, leaving my own complacent desires behind, to live in the perfect abandon of God’s will, that I will ever truly have my hopes fulfilled.  To exist completely surrendered to the whims of the Holy Spirit is the only way to tame the restlessness and embrace the rising freedom as God beckons me from the depths of my spirit.

For me, living in total abandon becomes overwhelming, creating a chaos generated from within.  I quickly become lost in a maze of my own perpetual acts of helplessness and literally drop out of sight, sometimes for weeks at a time.  I drive myself to exhaustion working on projects to occupy my mind as I wait for God to reappear in my field of view.  I become so obsessively focused that I do not sleep and rarely eat.  I often wonder why God created me this way.  Why did He instill this weakness that causes me to run away, to shutdown, to hide?  Somehow though, I know, He is working on me in these times to create a stronger me, a wiser me, an improved me.  Even when I do not hear Him, I know eventually, He is expecting a response.  I emerge from this seclusion refreshed with a new perspective about myself.  I fall back into the routine activities that rule my life.  And those days spent hiding?  It is as if they never really existed, just a memory of a weird disturbing dream left to wander through my mind some stormy afternoon:  screening phone calls, neglecting e-mails, the knocks at the front door from obscure salesmen that sent me to my knees behind the couch, just so I was not seen.  It is all veiled.  During these times, even though I want to hide from God too, I know He is surrounding me with His love, for there is no where I can flee from His presence.  It is His love that draws me back to Him, setting me right.  Somewhere in the midst of all the chaos was some quiet, like the eye of a storm, and it was in that eye that I was sheltered and protected from the world for a while.  That shelter and protection made me appreciate God and the peace He chose to give me.  It was a rare jewel discovered amongst schedules and appointments and times when I would wonder “Is there anyone who doesn’t need me right now?”  

This calm redirects my focus.  It gives me time to breathe.  It refreshes and washes over me showing me God’s omnipotence and orchestration of all things.  Even my chaos.  Renewed, I can see that God is orchestrating this moment of realization that He is sovereign, He is omnipotent.  And then, I can hear Him speaking to me, encouraging me to press on under a blessing and covering of His awesome love for me, just as I am, for I was fearfully and wonderfully made.  In this quietness, I have discovered the response God has been waiting for is ready,  nice and neat and packaged: a revised version of me emerging along with the revelation that in these times of running and hiding under the illusion I had some control was God perfecting and refining me.  I know the restlessness will come again and chaos will wait for me around every corner, but so will new epiphanies shadowed by clarity and truth.

I am not flawed.  I am God’s perfect creation and I am beautiful in His sight.

An Unfading Memory

And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: “Thisis now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. ~ Genesis 2:21-25 (nkjv)


This weekend I found God in my husband.

I was not exactly looking for God in this particular place, but here is how is came about.  After 18 years of employment with the same company, my husband took a new job.  Unfortunately, the former company held him to his thirty days notice and it was well past the date the new company wanted him to begin.  Translation: there was no time to take a week long vacation between jobs - which had been our plan. Randy was a little bummed out about this and in an attempt to be a good and perfect wife, I booked us a weekend get away in Charlottesville at the Boars Head Inn.  This was a mere two hour drive from Northern Virginia.  I picked a room with a porch and a lake view.  Randy managed to leave the office on his last day at 2:30 instead of 5pm. And wouldn't you know it, God being the Good Guy He is, did the rest.

Friday night after we arrived and settled in, we went downstairs to the Bistro on the deck - (unknown to us we needed fancier clothes for the dining room...oops!).  We sat and listened to the wedding reception guests on the terrace below and had a good laugh at our dinner.  I had ordered a starter in order to get a smaller portion and Randy ordered an entree because, well, he was hungry. When the food was served, I just started to laugh.  The "starter" was enough for 5 people and the "entree" was enough for 1/2 a person!  But this was the second joke, not the first.  When we opened the door to the deck, there was one other couple seated.  There were probably about eight or nine tables.  Now remember - and for those who don't know - we were one mile from UVA so imagine our surprise when the girl looks over at us as we pass and says to Randy, "University of Georgia?" with her eyebrows raised and thin pursed lips.  I glanced back and smiled ready to show our Dawg pride.  Randy was wearing a UGA shirt, of course.  "yeah," he replies nodding his head and with a 'go dawgs' ready on his lips, she interrupted saying as she pointed to her beau, "Georgia Tech."  A stinging smile and then, "we claim this area," drawing a box in the air with her finger for emphasis.  I quickly turned around and headed to the table we had already chosen.  I did this in defense, hers or mine I am still debating, because I wasn't sure whether to laugh or bite her. Where is Uga when you need him? I thanked God for laughter and His sense of humor.   

After escaping dinner with a lot of laughing and zero stinging, we retired to our covered porch.  God had so graciously secured us a room at the very end of our building which was ever so private.   I had packed a couple of bottles of wine for late night porch drinking and a small votive candle.  The tree branches swayed in the breeze. We sat talking in the candlelight, drinking our wine, and looking out upon the lake under a clear and bright moon.  I relished the quiet peace we found sitting on our dark rented porch.  The geese conversed as they floated in the lake, the frogs croaked and the cicadas sang a chorus as we watched twinkling stars appear.  I thanked God for a perfect porch and twinkling stars.

On Saturday, we were lazy.  We slept in, ate lunch, attended a wine tasting at Jefferson Vineyards.  We didn't know what we were doing at the wine tasting,  but it was fun and there was not one wine snob to be found. Once we returned to the inn, things took a turn and I had a good pout about it.  Randy wanted to go swimming and I did not.  Well, that is not exactly true.  I did want to go swimming, I just did not want to have to wear a bathing suit in front of other people to do it.  Randy refused to go without me.  So I huffed a little about why did he feel the need to pressure me to do something I did not want to do and I pleaded that he didn't understand what it was like to have people stare at a scar you couldn't hide.  See, I was in a car accident a few years ago and it left me with some scars here and there, but the one on my right thigh bugs me when I wear a swimsuit.  I can not hide it.  It really doesn't come from being vain because I do not believe that people are just waiting around for me to arrive so they can stare.  But the reality is, I can not avoid everyone's line of sight or their curiosity.  It can make me feel very uncomfortable and embarrassed.  So with a  "fine then" I grabbed my suit and changed and followed him to the pool.  I positioned myself on a lounge chair and watched him swim for a few minutes.  I wanted to just relax and read the book I brought, but I longed to just dive into that pool with the bright summer sun shining down on me.  But I held my position as if I were Custer at his last stand.  Randy would get out and come over dripping wet asking me to join him, but I would refuse.  Finally, he got out and came over and sat down beside me.  " You don't have anything to be embarrassed about.  I want you to come and get in the pool with me."  Then the magic words, "I think you are beautiful."  Well, that did.  What wife can refuse a husband's request when he says she is beautiful?  I certainly wasn't going to be the first.  And oh my goodness did that pool water feel good.  We swam for more than an hour and when the time came to go and get ready for dinner, I was like a little kid that really didn't want to leave.  I thanked God for my husband's persistence.  

After dinner, we retired again to the porch with a bottle of wine and our little candle and listened to the brewing thunderstorm.  He burned a business card from the old company in a final goodbye and said hello to all things in his new adventure.  When the rain began to fall, I thanked God for it because He knows I love to hear a good thunderstorm and the falling rain splatting on the ground.  I thanked God for the rain and for new adventures.

Sunday morning brought us gifts of a massage and a wonderful brunch.  We took our time getting home stopping at road side stands for blackberries and blueberries and baby yellow crook neck squash.  I read Dear Abbey out loud in an animated voice while he drove home and we laughed and laughed and wished the weekend would never end.  I thanked God for a perfect Sunday afternoon drive with my husband.

Sunday night as we fell into bed, I reflected on the weekend and how many gifts God had chosen to give to us.  All the little things that I never thought to ask for, God provided to make our weekend perfect.  I would like to say that I will remember every moment, every detail and the reality is some will blend into the tapestry of collected memories, but He gave me one gift that will never fade.  I saw God reflected in my husband and his actions Saturday afternoon while we were at the pool.  My husband encouraged me to do something that I did not necessarily have the courage to do on my own.  Isn't that what God does for us?  "Trust Me.  It's all good.  The blessing is right here on the other side. Just follow me"  My husband's love for me mimicked the unconditional love of Jesus and the perfect and perpetual love of God.  God has given me a perfect gift in my husband - a man who sees me and not a scar, who knows there is so much more to me than an imperfection.  That is a good gift.  A perfect gift.  A priceless gift. I thanked God for knowing my needs before I could speak them and for a husband who loves me just as I am - scars, pouts and all.

I have told you these things, not because I believe you really give two hoots about my weekend getaway with my husband, but because it shows how easily God can make Himself visible to us.  He loves to give us gifts.  He loves to bless our marriages.  He loves to show us how us how much He really loves us.  It proves that if we will just open our eyes to look around, focus our minds on Him and soften our hearts to accept His good and gracious gifts, that we will see Him everywhere, everyday.  May you see Him today in all His glory.