Here in my neck of the woods, the debate rages on: Will it be the same or worse than last year or will our winter be mild? Everyone has a different opinion, but only One knows what ultimately will be. Still, I check the weather everyday and read the Farmers Almanac trying to create a prediction of my own - one that I can tolerate, one that I can accept.
We live in a world of predictions and uncertainties; a world that shifts beneath our still feet as we look up to the One that can give us guidance. Yet, I still look to the world(or worse, myself) to fix my problems, many times leaving God as a last resort; the One I will turn to when I have exhausted every other possibility. I long to be the woman that turns to God immediately; one that never waivers or questions, but trusts in His wisdom and guidance of my steps. I desire to be blind to all the world offers me, but somehow, in the midst of my self-driven chaos, Jesus gets lost and fades into the background where ultimately I lose sight of Him. It is then, that I am most aware of my brokenness and it creates a hollowness in my soul that can not be satisfied with the selfish pleasures I evoke. There are so many counterfeit gods in the world that give instant gratification, that sidetrack me and before I know what has happened a month has passed and I am parched. I am thirsty for something real and tangible, something true and honest and worthy. We both know, I never have to be parched. We both know that when I shut down and walk away from the daily grind for whatever length of time it takes - that I should be communing with God not excluding Him. For the last month, I should have been running to God and resting in Him. I should have been still. I should have listened. Instead, I ran the other direction as fast and hard as I could. Why? Because when I become overwhelmed, it is just what I do. I drop from sight. If looking for me, one might find that a sighting of Bigfoot would be more likely.
Only God knows where I am and He speaks to me. He meets me right where I am. God knows what I need and He gives it to me. God knows just the right time to call my name and exactly what to say to awaken me from my hibernation. The days grow short with the tick-tocking of the clock, yet I know that winter is a time of renewal for me. A time of writing and studying and listening to God. I have struggled for weeks to write on this blog, to find the right words that your e-mails tell me you are eager to read, but with every day that passed, fear invaded my days that I might never have another thing to write to you. I wanted to write and I prayed everyday that God would give me something. Anything. After uttering that prayer, I would walk away from my computer, my Bible, my paper, my pens - and straight to whatever task was at hand. I don't remember ever waiting on God to actually answer me.God has gently reminded me that I must be patient. I must wait on Him. His timing is perfect. His ways are higher than my own. He can be trusted.
Blue patches of sky can now be seen through the breaking clouds and the weather man reports that tomorrow will be warm and sunny. A good day for writing under my new tree by my new rock wall.May we trust we are exactly where God wants us to be, and as my mom likes to say, may we bloom where we are planted. May you enjoy the days of Autumn and all of God's painting until the first midnight snowflakes begin to fall.
